Publicity Shy: The Outtakes
by martyni
Summary: Sometimes Bella and Edward aren't there  or sober enough to notice  for all the juicy gossip. Please read only in conjunction and order with Publicity Shy otherwise it'll spoil the story.
1. Renee's POV on Chapter 10

Chapter Number & Title: 1 – Renee's POV on chapter 10

A/N: Alas, Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_ not me, and the Beeb owns _Strictly_. But the plot is mostly mine.

Thanks as ever to my wonderful betas Mcc101180 and rodeomom_95.

**Contains some British slang terms. As usual there is a glossary at the bottom to help. **

So, Edward has sleep-groped Bella and they both know and remember it. But their first kiss was lost in a haze of alcohol. Want to hear about it from the only person who can really remember it? I sure do…

**An Accompaniment to Chapter 10**

Renee POV

It was fairly rare that I got to see my daughter. If I had my way I would see her at least once a month. However, we were both busy women and once every six months is usually as frequent as I get a visit, sometimes only at Christmas. So I consider myself exceptionally lucky… I do realise that I engineered both opportunities to see my daughter, but sometimes you have to grasp the bull by the horns, even if it catches said bull unawares. Perhaps I shouldn't use a bull as an analogy for my daughter. Also, I possibly shouldn't use my daughter as a business opportunity, but a self-employed business woman does what she has to do to stay afloat…

Seeing her raging drunk, however, was not really how I wanted to see her.

I am not stupid; I know my daughter isn't a saint. I am used to seeing people wasted; I run a gay bar for God's sake. However, watching your only daughter slaughtered is not particularly fun.

She didn't start off slowly, but I wasn't too concerned when Leah kissed her. Heck, if Bella came out, I would throw her a party. But when she came to the bar afterwards and started doing shots alone, I considered cutting her off and talking to her about her drinking. Unfortunately, the bar was heaving, so I had to serve people. Thankfully by the time I was free to check on her, I noticed that Edward was drinking with her.

I like Edward, he seems like a stand up guy, and I trust him with my daughter. Still, when I spotted Bella lying on the bar and Edward drinking shots from her cleavage to cheers from the crowd, I got a bit worried. But I pride myself on not being an embarrassing mum, so I left them alone. When they had finished doing shots from each other and were truly covered in tequila, I just handed them spare Scouting uniforms and let them be.

However, when I saw them toddle off unsteadily, I followed them outside. They were in no condition to head back to London, so I called Phil to come and pick them up. We could put them up for the night.

I found Edward pushing Bella against the wall and sticking his tongue down her throat. She had her legs wrapped around his waist and was quite clearly a willing participant. And all in full view of the paparazzi who were happily snapping away.

No mother, no matter how cool, wants to find her child in such a situation. It is something I would prefer to forget and would definitely prefer to have walked away from. So I realised that this was probably something they would regret the next day, so I broke them apart. Thankfully Phil arrived soon afterwards, thank fuck we lived close by, and helped me shove Bella into the front seat and Edward into the back. I would have liked to help him unload them and get them into bed, but it was a Saturday night and only two a.m., and I had a bar to run.

The next morning there was no awkwardness, so that could mean one of two things – either they were fucking like bunnies and so a kiss wasn't embarrassing, or they couldn't remember it. I found out the next Thursday that the latter was true.

Bella and Edward have chemistry, and I hope they'll get together. I worry so much about Bella being lonely; she lives by herself in a tiny village and spends most of her time writing. She needs a boyfriend, and Edward seems like a genuinely nice fellow. I think they could be good for each other, but getting together under the influence is not how to do it.

A/N

British English to American English dictionary

Slaughtered: Very drunk

Toddle: To walk unsteadily. Like a toddler.


	2. Leah's POV on chapter 11

Penname: Martyni

Story Title: Publicity Shy Outtakes

Story Link:

Chapter Number & Title: 2 – The Aftermath of Hurricane Emily

A/N: Alas, Stephenie Meyer owns _Twilight_ not me, and the Beeb owns _Strictly_. But the plot is mostly mine.

Thanks as ever to my wonderful betas Mcc101180 and rodeomom_95.

**Contains some Turkish/Urdu terms **(I'm not trying to be clever, honest…)**. As usual there is a glossary at the bottom to help. **

Want to know exactly how the break-up went? I sure do…

**An Accompaniment to chapter 11**

Leah POV

I was warming up and chatting with the cameramen when Sam walked into our studio.

"Can I talk to you, Leah?" He looked solemn and I didn't like it.

"Sure, what's up?"

He walked us to the corner of the studio.

"It's about me and Emily."

"You and Emily? What about you and Emily?" I asked. "You've only met my cousin once."

"More than once actually," he stated, "but once was all it took. It was love at first sight."

I felt like I'd been slapped. I didn't say anything. I just stood there open-mouthed as he dug his own grave.

"We didn't mean to, and we didn't want to go behind your back, but we can't resist one another. It's kismet. I'm sorry. I entirely understand if you want to pull out of _Strictly_."

That did it. I saw red.

"Love at first sight? LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!" I yelled. "If you think love at first sight is real then you don't know the first fucking thing about love. Love is about knowing someone, knowing their faults as well as the good points and loving them in spite of it.

"You know nothing about Emily. How can you possibly love her if you don't know her? Can you really love someone who has cheated on at least three of her boyfriends? Who used to kick sand in my little brother's face when she knew no adult was watching?

"You know what love at first sight is? It is a fantasy. It comes from Greek literature. The best that can be said about it is that it is lust. Will you still lust after Emily first thing in the morning? Before she has makeup on? Perhaps a few spots and a 'tasche that needs to be bleached? How about when she is seventy and her tits are around her waist?

"Don't dress up your feelings for Emily as anything more than lust. You just fancy her more than you fancy me, and you thought that calling it love at first sight would cushion the blow. Well, guess what? It didn't. So stop trying to appease your guilt by apologising — it might make you feel better, but it doesn't help me."

To his credit, Sam did look really apologetic. He hung his head in shame. "Sorry."

"Fuck you." And with that I walked out without looking back.

A/N

Dictionary

Kismet: Destiny (From Turkish or Urdu)


	3. Interview with Edward

A/N: Want an insight into Edward? I wrote this six months ago while suffering from writers block. It hasn't been beta'd because I thought I could probably manage short sentences. Any mistakes are entirely my own.

This is based on the Q&A column from the Guardian. They ask the same questions to a different celebrity each week.

**May 2010**

Q&A: Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen, 29, was born in Richmond. He has been a professional dancer on _Strictly Come Dancing _since 2004. He is currently touring the country with _Strictly Come Dancing: The Live Tour_. He is single and lives in London.

**When were you happiest?**  
I'm at my happiest when I play my guitar.

**What is your greatest fear?**  
I don't like being underwater.

**What is your earliest memory?**

Going to hospital to meet my baby sister for the first time.

**Which living person do you most admire, and why?**  
Michael Eavis. He manages to balance his work and his passion. Also, he effectively started music festivals as we know them today.

**What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?**  
I don't take enough control over my own life.

**What is the trait you most deplore in others?**  
Not being true to themselves.

**Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?**  
My grand piano.

**What is your most treasured possession?**  
Either my grand piano or my car.

**Where would you like to live?**  
I like living in London but I would love to live in New York at some point.

**What makes you unhappy?**  
I do. I'm my own worst enemy.

**What do you most dislike about your appearance?**  
My hair. I can't tame it.

**What do you owe your parents?**  
A lot of dancing and music lessons.

**Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it?**  
I've never said it to anyone outside my family.

**Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?**  
Noel Fielding, Dick Dale, Kathy Marshall, John Peel and Michael Evis.

**If you could edit your past, what would you change?**  
There are a few drunken nights I'd like to have not happened.

**What is your favourite book?**  
_The Stones_ by Isabella Swan.

**What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?**  
Vampire.

**Cat or dog?**  
Cat. I like dogs but live in London, and dogs and cities don't mix.

**What would your super power be?**  
Time travel.

**What is your most unappealing habit?**  
I can be a bit controlling.

**What is your guiltiest pleasure?**  
Spending all day playing my piano.

**What does love feel like?**  
I'm told it is indescribable.

**If you could go back in time, where would you go?**  
I'd love to hear Mozart play.

**When did you last cry, and why?**  
I can't remember.

**How do you relax?**  
I play my guitar.

**How often do you have sex?**  
Not nearly as frequently as I would like.

**What keeps you awake at night?**  
I sleep like a log.

**What song would you like played at your funeral?**  
'Only the good die young' by Billy Joel, but only if I die when older than 90.

**Tell us a joke.**  
What's a Vampires favourite dance?

The Vaults.

Crap, I know.


	4. Interview with Bella

Penname: Martyni

Story Title: Publicity Shy outtakes

Story Link:

Chapter Number & Title: 3 – Bella in the Guardian Q&A

Rating: PG

Genre:AH

Complete Story Summary: Outtakes from Publicity Shy.

Chapter Summary: Bella's interview from the Guardian's Q&A section.

Beta One:

Beta Two:

A/N: Want an insight into Bella? I wrote this a few months back while suffering from writers block. This is based on the Q&A column from the Guardian. They ask the same questions to a different celebrity each week.

**November 2010**

Q&A: Isabella Swan

Isabella Swan, 26, was born in Keswick, Cumbria. In 2006 her first novel, _A Simple Ring_, was published, and she became the youngest best selling author in the UK. Since then she has written two more books; _The Stones_ and _Back to Basics_, which was released this week. She is currently appearing on _Strictly Come Dancing_ with Edward Cullen. She is single and lives in Avebury.

**When were you happiest?**  
I am very happy now but I was also very happy when I got my first book deal. I can't decide between them.

**What is your greatest fear?**  
At the moment it is people not liking _Back to Basics_. Soon enough that will change.

**What is your earliest memory?**  
My mum painting the kitchen cabinets yellow. She was trying to bring sunshine into our dark house.

**Which living person do you most admire, and why?**  
Zadie Smith, she is a young author and inspired me to try and get _A Simple Ring_ published.

**What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?**  
I'm too critical of myself and others.

**What is the trait you most deplore in others?**  
Bitchiness.

**Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?**  
The engine of my Morris Minor. My dad gave me the car but I put in a hybrid engine.

**What is your most treasured possession?**  
The ring I based _A Simple Ring_ on.

**Where would you like to live?**  
I love living where I do.

**What makes you unhappy?**  
People saying or doing nasty things just to hurt others.

**What do you most dislike about your appearance?**  
My face. I'm quite plain.

**What do you owe your parents?**  
Love and patience.

**Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it?**  
At the time I thought I meant it. I now realise that I didn't love them.

**Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?**  
Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Shakespeare, Evelyn Waugh, Zadie Smith, Margaret Attwood and Edward Cullen.

**If you could edit your past, what would you change?**  
There is an ex-boyfriend I would rather never have dated.

**What is your favourite book?**  
Aside from my own? Just kidding, _White Teeth_ by Zadie Smith.

**What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?**  
I hate fancy dress parties so it would be camouflage.

**Cat or dog?**  
Dog. I'd take it on long country walks.

**What would your super power be?**  
Invisibility. It would be great for people watching.

**What is your most unappealing habit?**  
I like to be alone.

**What is your guiltiest pleasure?**  
Real ale. I'm waiting for the beer belly.

**What does love feel like?**  
I wish I knew.

**If you could go back in time, where would you go?**  
To when the Avebury stones were being erected. I'd love to know how they built it and what it looked like at the time.

**When did you last cry, and why?**  
When I was writing a particularly emotional scene of _Back to Basics_.

**How do you relax?**  
By dancing badly whilst I cook.

**How often do you have sex?**  
Unfortunately I've been celibate for longer than I'd like to admit. When it comes to men I'm too picky.

**What keeps you awake at night?**  
Novel ideas. I'm constantly either coming up with new novel ideas or refining the novel I'm writing. I frequently get up in the night to write.

**What song would you like played at your funeral?**  
At the moment that would have to be _Shining Light_ by Ash. I think funerals should be celebrations of life and it reminds me of my first week on _Strictly._

**Tell us a joke.**  
Nick Clegg.


End file.
